Battlefield 3Xbox 360

Battlefield 3 Product Details

Released on 28-Oct-2011.

• Battlefield 3 announced

  We've known this one was on the way for quite a while, but finally we're getting some cold, hard deets: Battlefield 3 will be hitting the PC, PS3 and Xbox 360 this autumn, and it looks awesome.

  According to Game Informer, who got the scoop - and Eurogamer, who wrote it up - Battlefield 3 promises an "exponential leap" in the kind of destructible havoc you can wreak on the environment. Like technical stuff? Here's some technical stuff: The game's been built with Frostbite 2, a new engine that really does the business. "Armed with powerful upgrades like deferred rendering, real-time radiosity, a new animation system borrowed from the EA Sports label, and an exponential leap in destructibility, executive producer Patrick Bach dubs Frostbite 2 'the best piece of technology on the market when it comes to building games'" says Game Informer.

  Now for the non technical stuff: PC players can expect 64-player multiplayer matches, Jets are in, and you'll be able to go prone. The game looks big and explosive and exciting, and we can't wait to hear more about it.

  When we do, of course, we'll tell you straight away. Roll on Autumn!

  Published: 04/02/2011

• Plenty of co-op up for grabs in Battlefield 3

  Battlefield 3 was one of the big winners of this year E3. DICE military FPS is looking magnificent, and the team just been unveiling its co-op campaign.

  According to PSM3 magazine, as reported on by Eurogamer, the forthcoming shooter will feature support for two players over 10 different maps as part of a bespoke co-op suite, slotting in alongside the single-player story and the robust multiplayer options. It the same route that a lot of games these days are taking, and if it means two different modes to back up the campaign rather than one, we couldn be happier.

  Battlefield 3 continues to look amazing, of course: DICE has served up some of the most realistic visuals wee ever seen, with cinematic pacing and destructible environments all promising to turn the game into something really special.

  Battlefield 3 will be hitting the PC, PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 on 28th October and it already looking too good to miss out on.

  Published: 27/06/2011

• Glitch-seeking gamers helping to test Modern Warfare 3

  Infinity Ward's Robert Bowling has admitted that Activision has brought in a team of external bug testers to check the incoming shooter behemoth Modern Warfare 3 for glitches, exploits and tweaks that might unbalance the multiplayer modes.

  The players hail from an online community called mapMonkeys, a group nfatuated with discovering and sharing glitches, exploits, tricks, and strategies A post on their official site claimed that four members of the group mapMonkey, IM Buddy 8, skateboard and Rezzzo had been flown to Infinity Ward's studio for an intensive bout of multiplayer matches. The team also helped out on previous Call of Duty titles with short playtests just before launch.

  quot;They're out at the studio to help us run Modern Warfare 3's multiplayer through its paces Bowling told CVG, "These guys focus specifically on exploits that can potentially be used to an unfair advantage, such as getting outside a map's playable area,or find weapon/equipment exploits that were not intended by the designer so that we can catch and address these before it gets out to the public

  Hopefully this means that Modern Warfare 3's multiplayer will be polished to a dazzling sheen when it launches on November 8th for PC, PS3 and Xbox 360. It'll certainly need every advantage, as it goes head to head with EA's Battlefield 3 for the FPS crown.

  Published: 14/07/2011

• Andy McNab pens Battlefield 3 spin-off novel

  Nothing says rrr serious war stuffmore than the presence of Andy McNab, the former SAS man turned anonymous military media pundit. That's not even his real name. That's how deadly and mysterious he is.

  McNab has already written war books galore, including Alan Partridge favourite Bravo Two Zero, and his name is now attached to a novel simply entitled Battlefield 3, along with co-writer Patrick Bach. Who he? He's the executive producer of Battlefield 3, a first-person shooter video game from legendary developer Dice. You may have heard of it.

  The title is listed with several book retailers, including US giant Barnes & Noble, and clocks in at 400 pages. What we don't know is what the book will be about. The single-player storyline of Battlefield 3, the game, kicks off in 2014 and follows Staff Sergeant Henry Blackburn as he leads a squad to investigate black market chemical weapons along the Iran/Iraq border. Then there's a massive earthquake and it all goes a bit pear-shaped. Whatever happens after that, EA isn't telling.

  The book will apparently be available at the same time as the game, which comes out on October 28th on Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and PC.

  Published: 19/07/2011

• Hang In There!

  The summer drought is almost over, and just round the corner are a barrage of games just waiting to slake your thirst. Just look at that calendar. August is already upon us, and after that it's September and the start of the AAA blockbuster releases. The nights start to draw in, newspapers start to make wild predictions about snow, and the games industry emerges from its summer hibernation with a slew of must-have titles that will leave your bank account begging for mercy.

  So here six games that are so nearly here - so hang in there for just a little bit longer, 'kay?

  

  Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3
  Out: November 8th
  On: Xbox 360, PS3, PC

  Let's start with the obvious one. Everyone in the world will be buying Modern Warfare 3. That's just scientific fact at this point. With such popularity comes the inevitable backlash, but the fact we all know what to expect from Modern Warfare shouldn't count against it. No series delivers the big-screen action movie experience better, and the arrival of a fresh entry every November has become an explosive tradition that's every bit as beloved as Bonfire Night.

  "No series delivers the big-screen action movie experience better."

  

  Battlefield 3
  Out: October 28th
  On: Xbox 360, PS3, PC

  Beatles or Stones? Coke or Pepsi? Boxers or briefs? We can now add another divisive choice to that timeless list - Modern Warfare or Battlefield? But why be a slave to petty arguments? Both games look awesome, so play 'em both and let the fanboys have their squabbles. Battlefield 3 scratches our itch for massive full-on multiplayer combat scenarios, while Modern Warfare addresses our burning need for fast, frag-happy kill-streaks.

  "Battlefield scratches our itch for massive, full-on multiplayer combat scenarios."

  

  Gears of War 3
  Out: September 20th
  On: Xbox 360

  Gears of War 3 is one of the early harbingers of the blockbuster season, we'll no doubt have finished the story mode of Delta Squad's final(?) adventure several times over by the time we bust out the mince pies. But as every Gearhead knows, it's the multiplayer that lasts a long, long time. Let it roll.

  "It's the multiplayer that lasts a long, long time."

  

  Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception
  Out: November 2nd
  On: PS3

  It's definitely the Winter of Threes this year but when the quality is this high, who's counting? Naughty Dog reinvented the action and exploration genre with the first two Nathan Drake adventures, and Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception is shaping up to be one of the most stunning, thrilling, hilarious and gripping games of the year. If you hate fun, feel free to give it a miss!

  "If you hate fun, feel free to give it a miss!"

  

  Batman: Arkham City
  Out: October 21st
  On: Xbox 360, PS3, PC, Wii U

  It's appropriate that Batman waits for the week before Halloween before swooping into action. Who wants to stalk the rooftops of Gotham with sunlight streaming through the curtains at nine o'clock at night? With more villains, more heroes and a city in chaos to navigate, Batman: Arkham City promises to be everything that the exceptional Arkham Asylum was - and so much more.

  "More villains, more heroes, and a city in chaos to navigate."

  

  The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
  Out: November 11th
  On: Xbox 360, PS3, PC

  There's nothing better for those long winter nights than a truly epic RPG to sink yourself into, before emerging into the spring sunshine four months later as a Level 50 Warrior Mage. So much better to look at than even Oblivion, the news that The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim's vast open-world quest-gasm features giant dragons, 280 perks and side quests that adapt to accommodate your previous actions, is almost too much for us to bear!

  "A vast, open-world quest-gasm."
  

• Battlefield 3 is DICE's eepest game ever

  Virtual soldiers signing up for active duty in upcoming combat classic Battlefield 3 can look forward to ears of unlocksaccording to Swedish developer DICE.

  Posting on the game's official blog, the team make the point that Battlefield was one of the first shooters to offer medals, ribbons and rewards for long-term goals, way back in 2005. attlefield players are among the most loyal out there says the post. ur games are literally played for years by our hardcore fans, and we want to actively support that. There should always be something left to achieve in Battlefield 3.

  So look forward to ten times as many hardware unlocks as in Battlefield Bad Company 2, a veritable buffet of guns, upgrades, gadgets and vehicle perks that will take dedicated players many months to collect. There will also be more awards for achieving objectives over time, as well as for good teamwork.

  he ultimate bragging right would be for a player to be awarded the rank of Colonel with 100 Service Stars attached, and to have 100 stars in all weapons, kits, and vehicles DICE reckons. etting there will be a massive task consider that a challenge!/p>

  You'll be able to rise to that challenge on PC, Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 on October 25th. Until then, at ease soldier.

  Published: 08/08/2011

• 1.5 million gamers have pre-ordered Battlefield 3

  Expect to see a lot of big numbers flying around between now and Christmas, as the very public battle between EA's Battlefield and Activision's Modern Warfare heats up.

  Today it was EA's turn to throw some stats in our face as Arvind Bhatia, a business analyst for Sterne Agee, revealed that the third entry in DICE's epic war simulation has reached the milestone of 1.5 million pre-orders, up by 250,000 since the retail temperature was last taken a few weeks ago.

  This puts the game comfortably on course to outsell the last game in the series, Bad Company 2. 'Management remains optimistic that the title has potential to exceed sales of its predecessor which has sold through 9.5 million units life-to-date,' said Bhatia, possibly in a robot voice.

  Between them, it's expected that EA and Activision will splash out more than $100m on marketing for their rival shooters. Review scores are also expected to be high. 'Critical ratings for BF3 should be at least 80' reckons Bhatia but, really, who couldn't have guessed that?

  Battlefield 3 shrieks onto PC, PS3 and Xbox 360 on October 28th.

  Published: 22/09/2011

• Play Battlefield 3, earn cash money

  Reckon you're hard, eh? Think you've got the chops to stand alongside the cream of the world's FPS players? EA is about to give you a chance to prove it and, if you're as good as you say, they're going to pay you as well.

  The Battlefield 3 Worldwide Conquest Tournament, hosted by Virgin Gaming, will give PS3 and Xbox 360 players the chance to frag each other senseless in pursuit of online kudos and stone cold cash money, with a prize pot of just over a million quid to be handed out to the best of the best of the best, sir.

  As part of the announcment, DICE general manager Karl Magnus Troedsson said 'The Battlefield series has always been a very social experience with its best-in-class multiplayer gameplay and we're honored to have such passionate and loyal fans. We want to give them the best Battlefield experience we've ever created with Battlefield 3. The Worldwide Conquest Tournament with Virgin Gaming is a great way to celebrate the gameplay and reward our fans.'

  Registration is open now at the Virgin Gaming website, with matches to take place online. A live final will take place in 2012.

  Battlefield 3 rumbles into life on October 28th for PS3, Xbox 360 and PC.

  Published: 28/09/2011

• Battlefield 3 producer talks perfectionism and shame

  Patrick Bach, executive producer of Battlefield 3, has sounded off to the Wall Street Journal on the creative process behind the popular shooter series, explaining how he finds it hard to revisit previous games as he only sees things he wants to change.

  'I don't know why, but I always feel ashamed about the games I'm involved in making,' he told the prestigious newspaper. 'I can't even bring myself to start up Battlefield: Bad Company 2, our last game, because I feel so ashamed. I know it is a great product but still I only see the things we could have done better.'

  With Battlefield 3 now only weeks from completion, and less than a month from release, he's feeling the same anxiety, explaining that 'the only thing you see when you are so close to finishing is more opportunity'.

  'When you have been building a game for such a long time you get bored with the things that you liked so much before, that you feel like changing them just for the sake of it. You agreed with everyone that the line this guy said, the sound of that gun, was perfect but suddenly you want to change it, just because you're bored with it since you've seen it too many times. But just because you're bored with it, it doesn't mean it's bad.'

  We'll see if Bach's drive for perfection has paid off when Battlefield 3 explodes in our faces on Xbox, PS3 and PC on October 28th. There's an open beta trial for the multiplayer available now on all formats, should you want to tease yourself.

  Published: 03/10/2011

• 2 million pre-orders for Battlefield 3

  2 million pre-orders for Battlefield 3

  Upcoming shooter Battlefield 3 has clocked up an astonishing 2 million pre-orders, up a further half a million since late September. Kevin O'Leary, product manager for the game, discussed the pre-order success with Fox Business:

  e're doing very well, he said.

  e've already announced that we've done great numbers so far. Couple more weeks to go. We're very excited./p>

  Battlefield 3 goes head-to-head with first-person shooter behemoth Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 this autumn. It's a challenge that EA sees as a long-term battle.

  e're looking at it as a long-term strategy, he continued. bviously Battlefield 3 is a great, brand new proposition out there.

  he franchise is poised to succeed and we had great success with our previous title, Battlefield: Bad Company 2. And we're really excited to bring Battlefield 3 and convert a lot of people over to this warfare experience./p>

  As well as impressive pre-order numbers, the team behind the game has also shared some mind-boggling stats from the recent beta programme.

  More than 8 million people headed online to get an early look at the game, clocking up a total of 47 billion shots fired, which resulted in around 1.5 billion registered kills. 19 million people lost their lives to knife-wielding maniacs in-game, and a total of 21 million M-COM stations were destroyed during the beta.

  One poor soldier got taken out from a range of 635.6 metres. Don't be that guy when the game releases later this month!

  Published: 19/10/2011

• Battlefield 3 Preview

  What war is good for

  The battle lines have been drawn. This is the year that Electronic Arts intends to make big inroads into Activision's domination of the first-person shooter genre by establishing the Battlefield series not just as a critical competitor to Call of Duty but also as a commercial one. Meanwhile, the developers of both game series appear nonplussed about the marketing war, preferring to focus on the content they are creating. When you get a chance to see their work in action, you sympathise.

  In the case of EA DICE, the Swedish studio behind Battlefield 3, the developers are currently showcasing the Operation Guillotine level of the single-player campaign a night-time incursion into Tehran at the spearhead of what looks like a massive invasion force. It's the closest thing to the D-Day landings we've had in a video game since Medal of Honor: Frontline on the PlayStation 2.

  King of the Hill

  
  

  The action kicks off on the top of a steep hill overlooking the Iranian capital in the dead of night. The player character and his squad-mates lie prone in the dust and dirt of the cool darkness, under the soft glow of nearby street lights, jabbering into radios to coordinate their next move. Then, as one with dozens of other soldiers hiding in the brush nearby, they climb to their feet and descend the hillside into a hail of mortars and the arcing violence of tracer fire.

  The race downhill is breathless and breathtaking. As we stampede onwards soldiers on either side are lifted off the ground by the explosions of mortars, which send them tumbling sideways on waves of flying dirt and debris. It feels like events are occurring in slow-motion but the action never falters from the super-smooth delivery guaranteed by DICE's immense Frostbite 2 game engine.

  Clips and mortar

  
  

  Near the bottom of the hill, the soldiers concertina together and bunch up behind a graffiti-covered brick wall where they assemble their own mortar and fire illumination rounds high into the night sky to shed some light on proceedings. Then they scamper over the wall and race through a rocky gully into a shallow riverbed where enemy troops are attacking from machine-gun nests.

  It's a tense battle as you and your troops use iron sights aiming to fire at entrenched positions before flanking the nests and eradicating their occupants. At this point it really becomes clear how amazing Battlefield 3 sounds the developers recorded a lot of the weapon effects while on manoeuvres with the Swedish Army and it's evident in the incredibly sharp and dense percussion of hundreds of rounds being expended every few seconds during the fire-fight.

  Once more into the breach and clear

  
  

  The objective of Operation Guillotine is to seize a tenement building, and the player's group quickly forms up on the entrance, which is being protected by a machine-gun poking out of a ground floor window. You or one of your squad mates can pop a grenade through here, and after a couple of hairy seconds it goes off and the machine-gun falls silent before the people manning it tumble lifelessly out of the open window. As you move up to the door it bursts open and out falls a dying soldier, shrouded in flames who falls at your feet.

  You move through the building clearing rooms and corridors and its the little details that stay with you: the hollow clang of a filing cabinet knocked over when you kick down a door; the mewling yelp of an enemy caught by your shotgun-round, cowering behind a few boxes stacked in a hallway; and the eerie calm after the last round is fired. You move out into the streets again and pass by wounded allies before entering a convoy of Humvees. Then the screen fades to black.

  Beyond the call

  
  

  DICE is being deliberately coy about the story being told in Battlefield 3's single-player, but it's already easy to see that it's taking a very different approach to the roller-coaster firework displays that we've experienced in recent Call of Duty titles. This is still a vicious conflict, but it's a more restrained production, rich in military detail and light on fluffy Jerry Bruckheimer set-piece moments. It's less Hollywood and more European, which is no bad thing.

  It also means that rather than giving you a difficult choice between it and Call of Duty, it can be the perfect companion piece. We already know that the multiplayer experiences will be considerably different, and so it seems will the campaign. All in all, it's another reason to think that this year's line-up of military shooters could be the most exciting in history, and another reason as if we needed one to get excited about the prospect of Battlefield 3 in just a few weeks' time.

  Head-Shot:
  + Incredible visuals
  + Amazingly authentic sounds
  + More restrained, thoughtful level design

  Friendly Fire:
  - Still don't know much about the story
  - How will we afford this and Call of Duty?
  - Can't wait much longer!
  

  Published: 20/10/2011

  Published: 20/10/2011

• Battlefield 3 Review

  Welcome to a world of hurt...

  Bizarrely, it's the heat that gets to you. You're not really jogging through hostile territory Kurdistan, weighed down with 90lbs of kit, but it bloomin' well feels like it. The sun is beating down, bouncing off windows, making you squint through the haze. This is DICE's Frostbite 2 engine in full effect, conjuring up tangible locations and scenarios where you can taste the dust, smell the cordite in the air and feel the shift from a sun-baked market square to a shadowed side street.

  First person shooters are often sold on sizzle these days, and Battlefield 3 goes out of its way to immerse you in its tense, frenetic world. The texture of a uniform, the stitching on a harness, the scratch marks on a jet fighter cockpit canopy these details may not matter when the shooting starts, but they make the moments in-between live and breathe.

  Spyinall over the world

  
  

  Battlefield 3's single player campaign makes the most of these flourishes, but sadly never really justifies its existence. Outside of the Bad Company spin-offs, this was never a series that needed a story mode for solo players, and including one here never feels like a natural fit.

  Not that there's anything terribly wrong with the campaign, it's just not noticeably different to the setpiece-driven hot bullet death served up by a dozen rivals. Battlefield has always been about scale, vast battles filled with infantry and vehicles, so these tightly scripted corridors do little to prepare you for the meat of the game.

  Fly the unfriendly skies

  
  

  That meat is multiplayer, of course. This is where Battlefield really soars above the crowd, offering an experience that feels utterly unique. No mean feat, considering how many other games have piled into the military FPS genre over the years.

  It starts with the maps, nine in all, each one with its own distinct flavour. Seine Crossing is an urban nightmare, taking place in a shell-shocked Parisian city block full of passages, courtyards and partially demolished apartment buildings. Damavand Peak takes you deep into the mountains of Iran, an enormous open space where you can base jump off a cliff or venture deep into a mine.

  This is what makes Battlefield 3 stand out. Where other shooters will offer up maps designed around on-foot combat, whether with shotguns or sniper rifles, Battlefield dreams a little bigger. These are maps where tanks, trucks, helicopters and even jets can be used without feeling claustrophobic. Take to the sky in a fighter, roaring above the battle raging below, and you appreciate just why Battlefield can easily sit alongside other titans like Call of Duty. Nobody does multiplayer like DICE.

  Self improvement

  
  

  It's not only the environments that are flexible. You've got unparalleled freedom to customise your soldier, across four different skill classes. Not only can you select and equip hundreds of different weapons, side arms, auxiliary tools and gadgets, you can even pimp your weapons with dozens of attachments and modifiers.

  These are all unlocked as you progress up the ranks, a journey that never feels like a joyless grind as XP is dished out for more than just killing enemies. Assisting team mates, spotting enemies so they show up on your squad's radar, fulfilling objectives these will all speed up your acquisition of new kit, which in turn makes you deadlier in battle. Newcomers needn't be intimidated though there are no unfair advantages here, and no balance-breaking perks. The default weapons may not be very exciting or sexy, but they get the job done and it's perfectly possible for a Level 3 Private to take down elite class players with the right combination of smarts and tactics.

  No man left behind

  
  

  And if you ever tire of multiplayer (doubtful, given that Battlefield Bad Company 2 still has a massive online following eighteen months after launch) then you can always take some time out to tackle the co-operative missions. There are six of these, ranging from a raid on a corporate skyscraper to a helicopter air support mission, to a hostage situation requiring pin sharp sniping skills. Success in these bonus sections unlocks even more weapons for multiplayer, so there's ample reason to give them some effort.

  It all adds up to a pretty phenomenal shooter package, with the multiplayer as the thick juicy steak in the middle. On its own, that would make Battlefield 3 more than worth your time, but the addition of interesting co-op, along with a generic but impressive single player story, only enhances the deal. Buy it, love it, get stuck in.

  GAME's verdict

  

  OOH-RAH:
  + Simply one of the best multiplayer shooters around
  + Fantastic map design, with great vehicle play
  + Loads of ways to customise your soldiers

  OH Dear:
  - Single player doesn't have anything to do with the multiplayer
  - Very little freedom in the campaign
  -Only six co-operative missions to choose from
  

  Published: 14/10/2011

  Published: 03/11/2011

• EA confirms plans for Battlefield 4

  Battlefield 3 may have only just gone on sale, but the president of Electronic Arts has confirmed that fourth game in the series is forthcoming.

  Speaking as part of a keynote speech at the University of California, Frank Gibeau said here will be a Battlefield 4 His comments were swiftly Tweeted around the world by eager attendees. An EA spokesperson later clarified the comment for IGN, saying rank was speaking broadly about the Battlefield brand - a brand that EA is deeply passionate about and a fan community that EA is committed to./p>

  Not that there was ever much doubt that the series would continue. Battlefield 3 is the fastest selling game in EA's long and illustrious history, shifting over five million copies in the weeks since its launch.

  The questions now are whether this will be a true Battlefield sequel, or a continuation of the spin-off Bad Company series, and whether it will appear on the current generation of console hardware, or be designed for whatever Sony and Microsoft have up their sleeves.

  Battlefield 3 is on sale now, for Xbox 360, PC and PS3.
  

  Published: 10/11/2011

• Wii U confirmed for European release before Christmas

  Speaking to investors, Nintendo has offered its first confirmation that its new Wii U console will launch in all major markets - including the UK - for Christmas 2012. The console, first revealed at E3 last year, was already pencilled in for a 2012 release, but it was unclear if that only referred to Japan.

  The console is an evolution of the existing Wii, with far more graphical power, HD graphics and an innovative new tablet controller which works together with the Wii remote. The console was shown off again at the Consumer Electronics Show earlier this month, and will be the centrepiece of Nintendo's presence at E3 in June.

  As for software, a new Super Smash Bros game is known to be in development while Legend of Zelda has been used for some demonstrations. Exclusive Wii U versions of smash hits such as Batman: Arkham City, Ghost Recon, Battlefield, Assassin's Creed and Darksiders also feature in the console's confirmed line up.

  So that's the Christmas shopping sorted nice and early then.
  

  Published: 26/01/2012

• Skyrim takes top honours at Game Developers Choice Awards

  The people who actually make the games we play got to have their say last night in San Francisco, as the Game Developers Conference celebrated with its annual awards show.

  Bethesda's Skyrim, the fifth entry in the popular Elder Scrolls series, took home the top prize for Best Game, adding yet another trophy the Bethesda's groaning awards shelf. "We never imagined the reception the game would get or the success that it has had," game director Todd Howard said,
  "Thank you to everyone who supported us. Thank you to everyone who's making games that inspire us."

  Elsewhere, Portal 2 warped its way to three wins, the biggest haul of the night, as developers from around the world picked it for Best Narrative, Best Design and Best Audio. Naughty Dog won Best Visual Arts for the thrilling cinematic sweep of Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception, while Battlefield 3 was rewarded for Best Technology.

  Legendary designer Warren Spector, creator of the original Deus Ex and, more recently, Epic Mickey, was given a lifetime achievement award. "Changing players' lives is - I promise you - much more satisfying than generating massive revenue," he told his industry peers.
  

  Published: 09/03/2012

• Noobs of the World

  
  

  Ah, noobs. So full of hope and ambition, and usually very quickly pwned at the hands of a more seasoned player. Games wouldn't be the same without them, and we must all remember that we were all noobs once. So, once again a gentle prodding was done around the office, as members of the digital team drudge up memories of their own noobish moments...

  

  Carl - Design Doodler

  As a lot of people did, I got Battlefield 3 the day it came out and I was really excited about the jets and couldn't wait to fly around and blow some noobs up.

  However, after missed chance after missed chance and finally getting into one I made the mistake of hitting the throttle before I had learnt any of the controls. I managed to take off and do a perfect loop-the-loop. The only problem being that I looped straight into the ground, leaving my fellow players laughing and me a bit embarrassed...

  Tom - All About The Assets

  The great example of my own noobishness was in Battlefield 3. I was having trouble getting to grips with the jet controls, so I changed them up and found them much easier to use. Unfortunately whilst showcasing my new airborne skills I banked sharply and flew straight into a tall tower...

  

  The noobishness of another player springs to mind when playing a frantic multiplayer session of Transformers: War for Cybertron. A rather mouthy teenager came online on the opposing team as an Autobot, stating he was going to "own all n00bs and turn them into scrap". Upon entering the match as Megatron he declared "I AM THE MIGHTY MEGATRON, ALL SHALL FA--", his speech ending as I shot him point blank in the face.

  In the next match it was a team switch with him now choosing Autobots and me Decepticons. He chose Optimus Prime and once the match started and he'd killed one member of my team he declared "One Shall Stand--"; I again cut him down mid-quote by shooting him again, point blank. I then finished the quote "One shall fall"

  

  Robyn - In-your-face Interfacer

  When I first joined the Online Team a few years ago, I was introduced to the merits of the Xbox 360 controller. Which, I discovered harshly, handles nothing like the Wii-mote which I was most used to, or any PS2 game I ever recalled playing. Anyway, after giving the team a dose of motion sickness, I gave up on Dead to Rights: Retribution after "Look up at the ceiling - ooh no - down at the floor - ooohh no back up at the ceiling... waahh, into a wall... oh no back at the floor. And I'm facing a wall again."

  

  I was rubbish. 

  I probably still am.

  
  

  Damien - Good Word-Writing Man

  Wii Sports. First time using the Wii controller I did so a bit more... enthusiastically than my brothers. So there's me, running halfway round the room and working up a sweat in tennis, and then pulling my bicep muscle on baseball, while my brother looks at me like a complete idiot as he gently twists and turns the controller for way better scores. Still, exercise is exercise...

  

  Ali - Queen of the Internet

  I heard that Legend of Zelda: Occarina of Time (LOZOOT) was one of the best games ever so when it came out on 3DS I rushed to buy it. Little did I know that it was so metaphorically complex.

  I needed to wake up some bloke who was in my way while trying to sneak into the castle. After hitting him with my sword, jumping on him and shouting into the mic nothing worked. The next day I was moaning at work about it and was informed that I needed a chicken. Brilliant.

  I went home and travelled in search of the chicken. On my adventures I found a village full of chickens. Even better there was a distressed NPC saying she needed help capturing the chickens and promising a reward for my help. Perfect - clearly all I had to do way round up the chickens and she would give me one of my own. Nope, not in Zelda land. All I received was some kind of token and her gratitude. Rubbish. Turns out I needed to go back to the castle, chat up some girl so she gives me an egg, wait till dawn, let it grow and introduce myself to the man I had previously been beating. I clearly need to do more crossword puzzles.

  So, does this bring back memories for you? Do you recall your own truly noobish moments? Why not add your confestion using the comments field below - we're all friends here!

  Published: 14/05/2012

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